You know you want a sex blog, a place on the internet to write and publish the thoughts, feelings, and stories in your head. The first step is to build your sex blog, which isn’t as difficult as it seems.
But once you’ve got the blog, you need to actually write something. That’s where a lot of people begin to worry. How do I write? What do I write? How do I maintain a blog; when should I publish a post; will I run out of ideas…?
We’ve put together some of our top writing tips to help you get started and keep going as a writer.
Kayla’s Tip: Get the Words Out of Your Head First
A lot of bloggers and writers want their words to be perfect the moment they hit the screen or page. Actually, we probably all want that. But that’s not how it works, and a lot of sex bloggers get stuck before they ever write the first word.
Let yourself be messy in your writing. Get the imperfect thoughts and sentences out of your head first. Worry less about how it sounds and focus on the idea you want to share. Once you’ve got the words out of your head where you can look at them, then you can go back and edit, and change things around so it’s closer to what you envision.
Molly’s Tip: Read a Lot
There is a lot of advice for writers of fiction to read lots of books but the same can be said for blogging. Take some time to read other people’s work. It doesn’t even have to be other sex bloggers but whatever interests you. Often, inspiration strikes as a result of what you have read.
When inspiration strikes, you can (should?) give a shout-out to other writers. Reference them in your piece and you will make other potential connections as they may read and comment and potentially even share it with their audience.
Kayla’s Tip: Set a Time to Write
The easiest way to never write anything is to tell yourself that you’ll get to it…eventually. There’s no right routine to have. Some people write at five in the morning and others write at ten at night. Because life is always changing, over time your routine might change too. To make sure you actually get the words on the page, set yourself a schedule or routine — a time of day or specific days of the week when you know you’ll write.
Contrary to a lot of advice, you don’t have to write every day. You can if you want to, and there are benefits to doing so. But if that seems overwhelming, start with two specific days of the week at set times and then go from there. Don’t be afraid to adjust or modify your routine to fit your life. Remember, writing is supposed to be enjoyable, not another thing you avoid doing.
Molly’s Tip: Set a Blogging Schedule
Now, this can be a double-edged sword. If you set a too-high number for yourself compared to the amount of time you have to blog, you set yourself up for expectations you won’t be able to meet long term. That being said, having a bare minimum blogging schedule is definitely something I would recommend, and it works for me.
Decide on how many times a week you want to post to your blog and set days when you will publish. For me, it is twice a week, and one of those is always Sunday. Of late that has slipped as life has gotten busy. That is okay because it is what I need to do right now but that schedule kept me blogging like clockwork for nigh on 10 years.
Kayla’s Tip: Forget About What You Think You Should Write
Long time writers sometimes convince themselves that because they’ve always written about a certain subject, that’s all they should write about. Newer writers worry about what readers they haven’t even met yet want to read. We all think there’s a simple answer to what we “should” write.
The truth is that the best writing (even if it’s not the most grammatically correct) is the story that you want (or need) to write. Always write erotica? It’s okay to write that think-piece on sexism. Worried that readers only want to read about kinky sex? If you want to write about gender or dating, there’s someone who would love to read it. Forget what seems popular or “right” and create the content that matters to you.
Molly’s Tip: Take Time Off
Yes, I am utterly rubbish at this but I would highly recommend it. If the thought of it makes you nervous, then do what I do and set some time aside to write some extra content before your break. Use that for content to schedule and post during your time off.
Use your time off to enrich yourself in whatever way you need. Keep a notebook at hand because the chances are that ideas for posts will jump into your brain. Write them down and then at the end of your week off you have a potential list of ideas to work on.
Yes, there’s a technical aspect to writing that it helps to know: comma placement, verb tense, word usage, etc. But there’s another side of writing that gets forgotten as people try to “perfect” their work and stress about what others think of their writing: to be a writer, you simply have to write.
This is a creative thing you’re doing (presumably) because you love writing or have something you need to share with the world. These tips are meant to help you actually get those words out of your head and into the world — without burning out or hating your blog. Once you get started, you’ll find that the rest of your writing skills can and will improve over time.
Kayla Lords is a freelance sex writer, podcaster, blogger, and all-around sex content creating human. As a writer, she focuses on sex and kink primarily on BDSM and power exchange. She works with private clients to write their content and manage their social media, while also co-hosting two podcasts, running a YouTube channel, and managing multiple blogs. Let’s just say, she stays busy and wants to keep it that way.
Kayla is an international speaker and an award-winning sex blogger. She believes we are stronger together as a community than we are isolated and apart.